Where’re Ya To?

A number of years ago Laura Lee’s father, Don, went on a trip to Newfoundland.  When he came back he happily shared with us one of the favourite phrases he picked up while spending time on “The Rock” – Where’re ya to? [translation:  Where are you going to?]  Since that time, in our family it has become a saying that pops up from time to time.

As we begin 2020 and think about the ministry that is being shared with our Rwandan brothers and sisters (AEBR) this coming year, it is an appropriate time to step back and ask the question “Where’re ya to?”  So we want to take a moment and give you a bird's-eye view about the different ways that CBM and AEBR will be working together in 2020.

Peace and Reconciliation

Given the history of Rwanda, which of course includes the 1994 genocide against the Tutsi, there is an ongoing need to promote peace and reconciliation in this country.  Through Peace Clubs in seven churches and six schools, the project is training people to be personally reconciled with others and how to be agents of peace in their schools and communities.  (These groups have “given birth” to 10 other groups in other communities as they try to spread the message of peace.)

 

Francois and Donatha are members of a Peace Club in Bugesera. 
Their family was driven to poverty due to the sickness of one of their children.

The members of the Peace Club in August making bricks for building a house for this
family. Jean Edouard, the Peace & Reconciliation Project Manager, is front right.

In November, the members of the Peace Club helped in building a house for
Francois and Donatha

Theological Education

This project focuses on three different ways to strengthen church leaders and raise up new ones.  The first is supporting the Baptist students who go to the seminary Rwanda Institute of Evangelical Theology (RIET).  The second is covering the costs to bring in guest teachers to the five different Regional Bible Schools found throughout the country.  And the third is called the Emerging Leaders Initiative (ELI).  It is focused on 20 men and women between the ages of 25 and 40, who are demonstrating capabilities as leaders.  ELI is providing them with training in leadership skills and character to help them be in the best place to serve in AEBR leadership in the future.

 

One of Darrell's preaching classes at RIET

Pastor Cyprien teaching students at the Regional Bible School in Ngarama

Andre Sibomana (CBM Africa Team Leader) leading a seminar at the
Emerging Leaders Initiative

Guardians of Hope

Guardians of Hope (GOH) groups have been established in numerous AEBR churches over the years in order to reach out to, support and build capacity in families affected by HIV/AIDS.  As the members learn together, work together, and save money together, their lives have been transformed.  (For more information about these groups, read “Protectors of Hope” in the August 2019 blog post.)

 

Salome learned to sew as a member of a GOH group 

She makes different kinds of bags which she sells to support
her family.  According to Salome, this project has helped
her regain hope and a sense of value.

Church Roofing

With government regulations requiring good quality roofs on public buildings like churches, it became difficult for churches to pay for the metal sheeting used for roofing.  Over the last number of years, as some of the AEBR churches outgrew their current buildings or had to replace aging, leaking roofs, dozens of them benefitted from the church roofing project which provided the metal sheets after the walls and rafters where raised up by the church family.

 

Pastor Abed in front of his church (with a roof!) in Nyagasiga in eastern Rwanda

Literacy and Family Ministry

In 2020, the efforts to increase literacy will take a new approach.  In communities where illiteracy rates are higher (especially among women), churches will establish self-help groups where members are taught skills such as making baskets, sewing, etc. that can be used to generate some income.  But additionally, literacy classes will be offered to any of them who want to join.  It is hoped that this will draw out those who might be shy or embarrassed so that they can learn to read. (To read more, see the April 2018 post "Opening a New World")

 

Laetitia (L), the Literacy Project Manager, with Dorcas, a recent graduate
from the program

A literacy graduating class in the village of Kigarama in western Rwanda

Benefits being passed on, as the Literacy grads try to establish a reading culture
with their children

The family ministry portion of this project is a continuation of an initiative begun two years ago to bring basic training on marriage and parenting to leaders from every AEBR church and chapel.  With the first phase now complete, it has been decided to do another three-year program which will bring the next level of teaching in this area.  The focus will be on: 1) the role of husbands and wives; and 2) caring for your spouse inside and out.

 

Family ministry training with pastors and church leaders in Ngarama

Orphans and Vulnerable Children

There are many children in Rwanda who are orphans or who have a parent who is unable to properly care for them.  The Orphans and Vulnerable Children (OVC) Project will be reaching out to about 200 of these children, not only helping them be able to go to school but also providing support and training through mentors and seminars designed especially for them.

 

David, a member of an OVC group, has a disability
in his legs due to poverty and neglect as a child.

Through the program, he has learned how to make bags. 
When he's not in school, he makes and sells bags to help
himself and others with similar problems.

It’s going to be a busy year.  But through the partnership of CBM and AEBR, many lives will be transformed in 2020!  Each one has a name.  Each one is loved by God.  So it’s exciting for us to think about “Where’re we to?”

Feeling the Distance

What is it like to live over 10,500 km away from your children, your parents, your “home” (or at least what is considered home when back in Canada)?  To be honest, most days it just feels normal.  We have been living this reality for quite a while.  It was actually sixteen years ago during CBM’s May board meetings in 2002 that we were officially appointed by CBM.  A few months later, we were off to Indonesia, where we lived almost 15,000 km away, literally on the other side of the world!  So it is a fairly normal part of life as we know it to live so far away from Atlantic Canada.  One great thing is that today’s ever-evolving technology makes the world feel a lot smaller than it used to, even compared to our first few years in Indonesia.

But there are times when we feel the distance more acutely, when the kilometres take on a more negative character.  This usually happens during times of celebration or struggle for those from whom we are separated.  Suddenly the ocean seems a lot wider in those moments.

Lately, we have been feeling the distance more.  A couple of weeks ago, our son, Caleb, finished his first year at Crandall University.  We are so pleased that his first year living back in Canada and away from us ended up being such a good experience.  But suddenly we found ourselves wishing we could be closer to help him pack up his dorm room, land a job and find a place to live for the summer.  Thankfully other family members and friends were able to step in to “fill the gap.”  And we could see God at work in bringing everything together.

 

Caleb's dorm room all cleaned out

What Bronwyn's graduation looked like in Kigali

Last weekend was also a feeling the distance time for us.  On Saturday, May 5, our daughter, Bronwyn, graduated from Crandall University with a Bachelor of Arts in English.  We are so proud of her and what she has accomplished!  However, we were simply not able to travel back to Moncton to celebrate this achievement with her.  The good news, though, is that the university live streamed the ceremony, so we were able to watch it from here in Kigali!  Sometimes technology leaves us amazed.  Of course, when the power went out 90 minutes beforehand it was rather stressful.  What a relief it was when it came back on with 25 minutes to spare!  Naturally, before and after the ceremony, quite a bit of time was spent on WhatsApp, trying as best we could to “experience” all the events of that special occasion.  

Bronwyn & Caleb at graduation

Bronwyn with her Bustin grandparents

The following day, Sunday, May 6, was another time of celebration.  My (Darrell’s) mother had her 80^th birthday (plus it was my parent’s 57^th anniversary).  It would have been so nice to be with them for this important milestone.  Then, on Monday, May 7, Caleb had surgery to have his lower wisdom teeth removed.  We are glad that everything went smoothly, but once again longed to be nearer in order to support him.

Caleb in recovery mode

Now, to be clear, all this is not presented as a complaint.  We are glad to be in Rwanda, serving alongside of our brothers and sisters here.  It is truly a blessing.  And, as said above, most days feel normal.  The reason for sharing these thoughts is because we are often asked about our experience in living internationally.  And, the truth is, there are occasional days when we feel the distance.  We are keenly aware of the many ways that God continues to bless our lives—and that is probably the key to facing those times when we have those long-distance feelings.  To have a close, loving relationship with our children, our parents and the rest of our families, to know that they, along with other good friends, often support us by stepping “into the gap” that is created by us being overseas, and to have the ability to communicate regularly due to today’s technology are all reasons to celebrate and be thankful.  They make the world seem not quite so big and the separation not quite so wide.

Stranger in Your Own Land

On November 27, we will be heading back to Rwanda once more.  But this time it will be very different, because both of our children, Bronwyn & Caleb, will be remaining behind in Canada.  Since they are now each studying at Crandall University, we will be officially entering the “Empty Nest” chapter of our lives.  With Caleb “repatriating” back into life in Canada, we thought it might be interesting to get some glimpses into what that process is like.  So we went to our “Resident Expert” in the matter, Bronwyn, who went through this same experience more than four years ago.

Darrell - It is now four-and-a-half years since you left Rwanda to come back to Canada to study at Crandall University.  But that was much more than just a high school grad heading off to university.  It was much bigger than that.  It was more like moving from one world to another.  What are some of the challenges you have faced in moving back to Canada that most people would not be aware of?

Bronwyn - It was definitely a big, multidimensional transition!  One of the most noticeable things about North American culture that has been challenging for me is the materialistic and consumerism-focused mentality that pervades all areas of life here.  Even in small things, such as ordering food or a drink at a café, there is so much focus on having exactly what you want, how you want it.  And on a much larger scale, the predominant drive in North America is to have more, to buy more, to do more.  A second challenge is being in a place that has so much and where so much is readily available.  While it is a blessing to be in such a situation, it can be difficult to not become cynical and constantly view things with a critical lens.

After being a unit as a family through so many moves & transitions, it was obviously very difficult to be away from my family.  Perhaps the way I noticed this most, especially in my first semester (but even still today too), was not being able to “go home for the weekend.”  It was really hard to not have my place that I could retreat to for a couple days and recharge to face life again.  Interestingly, throughout the years, it is has not been the physical distance that has been the hardest to deal with; it has been the time difference.  Clearly, it is hard to be apart, but the time difference to Rwanda has meant that by late afternoon (when my day is slowing down), Mom & Dad are heading to bed, and during my whole evening, they are sleeping.  Not being able to communicate during those hours has been tough.

The Bustins in 2002

The Bustins in 2017

D - Your life has not been an ordinary one.  There are many people today who have travelled to different places in the world, but you have actually lived for many years in other countries.  For you that has meant facing some unique challenges.  However, in what ways has it also been an advantage or blessing for you?

B - I think in many ways it wasn’t until I was living here that I have been able to more fully appreciate the blessings I have had because of my childhood.  Three things are at the top of my list in this regard.  First, I have friends in many different countries and I’ve been able to meet amazing people all over the world.  I’ve had special friendships with different people because of our lifestyle and the way we’ve been able to relate to each other.  Second, I have an awareness and understanding of different cultures, languages, and outlooks on life.  I have a broader worldview because of where I’ve lived than I would have if I had grown up in Canada, and I’m able to relate to people in a different way.  Third, I’m more aware of the “eternal perspective” we need to have here on earth.  Knowing the hardships that many people face daily and yet also the joy with which they embrace life changes how I approach life.

Bronwyn with her friends

D - In looking back over this whole time of transition, what are some things that have helped you as you’ve adjusted to life back in Canada?

B - There have been a few specific people (both peers and mentors) who have helped me survive this transition to Canada, and I don’t think I would have survived without them!  They have let me rant and listened to me process what’s been going on for hours and hours (and read many novel-length texts) and supported me through all of the changes. 

There have been different Bible verses that have been significant to me at certain times.  (Ex. 1 Pet. 5:10; Deut 30:19-20a)

Skype has been a help, as well, both for doing video calls and texting.  In more recent times, the app Whatsapp lets us message each other (when the internet isn’t good enough to be able to use Skype). 

Reading different articles and blogposts by other MKs (missionary kids) and by people who work with them has helped me understand or verbalize some of the things I’ve gone through and helped in affirming that other MKs experience the same thing.   During my first summer back in Canada, I also benefitted from attending a special conference for MKs moving back to Canada called ReBoot.

Even though Bronwyn and Caleb and other MKs look just like their peers, it’s good to remember that there is a lot more going on within them than meets the eye.