Feeling the Distance

What is it like to live over 10,500 km away from your children, your parents, your “home” (or at least what is considered home when back in Canada)?  To be honest, most days it just feels normal.  We have been living this reality for quite a while.  It was actually sixteen years ago during CBM’s May board meetings in 2002 that we were officially appointed by CBM.  A few months later, we were off to Indonesia, where we lived almost 15,000 km away, literally on the other side of the world!  So it is a fairly normal part of life as we know it to live so far away from Atlantic Canada.  One great thing is that today’s ever-evolving technology makes the world feel a lot smaller than it used to, even compared to our first few years in Indonesia.

But there are times when we feel the distance more acutely, when the kilometres take on a more negative character.  This usually happens during times of celebration or struggle for those from whom we are separated.  Suddenly the ocean seems a lot wider in those moments.

Lately, we have been feeling the distance more.  A couple of weeks ago, our son, Caleb, finished his first year at Crandall University.  We are so pleased that his first year living back in Canada and away from us ended up being such a good experience.  But suddenly we found ourselves wishing we could be closer to help him pack up his dorm room, land a job and find a place to live for the summer.  Thankfully other family members and friends were able to step in to “fill the gap.”  And we could see God at work in bringing everything together.

 

Caleb's dorm room all cleaned out

What Bronwyn's graduation looked like in Kigali

Last weekend was also a feeling the distance time for us.  On Saturday, May 5, our daughter, Bronwyn, graduated from Crandall University with a Bachelor of Arts in English.  We are so proud of her and what she has accomplished!  However, we were simply not able to travel back to Moncton to celebrate this achievement with her.  The good news, though, is that the university live streamed the ceremony, so we were able to watch it from here in Kigali!  Sometimes technology leaves us amazed.  Of course, when the power went out 90 minutes beforehand it was rather stressful.  What a relief it was when it came back on with 25 minutes to spare!  Naturally, before and after the ceremony, quite a bit of time was spent on WhatsApp, trying as best we could to “experience” all the events of that special occasion.  

Bronwyn & Caleb at graduation

Bronwyn with her Bustin grandparents

The following day, Sunday, May 6, was another time of celebration.  My (Darrell’s) mother had her 80^th birthday (plus it was my parent’s 57^th anniversary).  It would have been so nice to be with them for this important milestone.  Then, on Monday, May 7, Caleb had surgery to have his lower wisdom teeth removed.  We are glad that everything went smoothly, but once again longed to be nearer in order to support him.

Caleb in recovery mode

Now, to be clear, all this is not presented as a complaint.  We are glad to be in Rwanda, serving alongside of our brothers and sisters here.  It is truly a blessing.  And, as said above, most days feel normal.  The reason for sharing these thoughts is because we are often asked about our experience in living internationally.  And, the truth is, there are occasional days when we feel the distance.  We are keenly aware of the many ways that God continues to bless our lives—and that is probably the key to facing those times when we have those long-distance feelings.  To have a close, loving relationship with our children, our parents and the rest of our families, to know that they, along with other good friends, often support us by stepping “into the gap” that is created by us being overseas, and to have the ability to communicate regularly due to today’s technology are all reasons to celebrate and be thankful.  They make the world seem not quite so big and the separation not quite so wide.