Feeling the Distance

What is it like to live over 10,500 km away from your children, your parents, your “home” (or at least what is considered home when back in Canada)?  To be honest, most days it just feels normal.  We have been living this reality for quite a while.  It was actually sixteen years ago during CBM’s May board meetings in 2002 that we were officially appointed by CBM.  A few months later, we were off to Indonesia, where we lived almost 15,000 km away, literally on the other side of the world!  So it is a fairly normal part of life as we know it to live so far away from Atlantic Canada.  One great thing is that today’s ever-evolving technology makes the world feel a lot smaller than it used to, even compared to our first few years in Indonesia.

But there are times when we feel the distance more acutely, when the kilometres take on a more negative character.  This usually happens during times of celebration or struggle for those from whom we are separated.  Suddenly the ocean seems a lot wider in those moments.

Lately, we have been feeling the distance more.  A couple of weeks ago, our son, Caleb, finished his first year at Crandall University.  We are so pleased that his first year living back in Canada and away from us ended up being such a good experience.  But suddenly we found ourselves wishing we could be closer to help him pack up his dorm room, land a job and find a place to live for the summer.  Thankfully other family members and friends were able to step in to “fill the gap.”  And we could see God at work in bringing everything together.

 

Caleb's dorm room all cleaned out

What Bronwyn's graduation looked like in Kigali

Last weekend was also a feeling the distance time for us.  On Saturday, May 5, our daughter, Bronwyn, graduated from Crandall University with a Bachelor of Arts in English.  We are so proud of her and what she has accomplished!  However, we were simply not able to travel back to Moncton to celebrate this achievement with her.  The good news, though, is that the university live streamed the ceremony, so we were able to watch it from here in Kigali!  Sometimes technology leaves us amazed.  Of course, when the power went out 90 minutes beforehand it was rather stressful.  What a relief it was when it came back on with 25 minutes to spare!  Naturally, before and after the ceremony, quite a bit of time was spent on WhatsApp, trying as best we could to “experience” all the events of that special occasion.  

Bronwyn & Caleb at graduation

Bronwyn with her Bustin grandparents

The following day, Sunday, May 6, was another time of celebration.  My (Darrell’s) mother had her 80^th birthday (plus it was my parent’s 57^th anniversary).  It would have been so nice to be with them for this important milestone.  Then, on Monday, May 7, Caleb had surgery to have his lower wisdom teeth removed.  We are glad that everything went smoothly, but once again longed to be nearer in order to support him.

Caleb in recovery mode

Now, to be clear, all this is not presented as a complaint.  We are glad to be in Rwanda, serving alongside of our brothers and sisters here.  It is truly a blessing.  And, as said above, most days feel normal.  The reason for sharing these thoughts is because we are often asked about our experience in living internationally.  And, the truth is, there are occasional days when we feel the distance.  We are keenly aware of the many ways that God continues to bless our lives—and that is probably the key to facing those times when we have those long-distance feelings.  To have a close, loving relationship with our children, our parents and the rest of our families, to know that they, along with other good friends, often support us by stepping “into the gap” that is created by us being overseas, and to have the ability to communicate regularly due to today’s technology are all reasons to celebrate and be thankful.  They make the world seem not quite so big and the separation not quite so wide.

Opening a Whole New World

There is something that you are doing right now, which you are likely not even thinking about.  In fact, you do it so easily, it probably simply feels natural, normal.  It may very well be that you don’t know anyone (apart from small children) who can’t do this activity.  The action that I’m talking about is reading.  It is a skill which we learn while we are still young and it stays with us for our entire lives.  But can you imagine how your world would change if you could not read?

In Rwanda, the government is firmly committed to providing the best education it can to its people, both boys and girls.  However, that wasn’t always the case.  In earlier days, education wasn’t always available.  Nor was it always valued.  As a result, today in Rwanda there are still many adults—mostly women—who are illiterate (approximately 29%).  But the negative impact of illiteracy on their lives goes far beyond the inability to read.  It causes you to struggle greatly with a low self-image.  You may be very clever and wise, but when most of the people around you, maybe including your children, have this skill but you don’t, it can create feelings of being unintelligent, isolated or inadequate.  Others can view you the same way.  Statistics show that domestic violence is higher against the women who find themselves in this situation.  In business, it is easy to be cheated by others since not only can you not read but you also don’t really understand numbers.  Much of life is shaped and shaded by this single issue.

That was the case with Theophile who lives in the little village of Kabatwa in NW Rwanda.  When he was growing up, his family had many cows.  He was the only boy in his family so his father wouldn’t allow him to go to school.  He had to stay home to watch the herd.  And when he tried to go to church, his father would beat him, because it meant he wasn’t tending the cows.

During the genocide in 1994, his father was killed, but thankfully his mother survived.  She gave him permission to start to attend church.  This was a good thing, but it also led to feelings of great shame when he realized that he couldn’t read like most people there.  As time went by, he and his wife Phoibe, who was also unable to read, became increasingly active at church.  However, when the pastor began asking him to become a leader in the church and serve as a deacon, he refused.  The main reason was his illiteracy.  It made him feel so ashamed and he was convinced that he could never fulfill the expectations of being a deacon.

In 2014, the Baptist church in Kabatwa began a Literacy ministry.  This was through the Literacy Project which is sponsored each year by CBM.  Theophile and his wife quickly signed up to join the class.  And now they can both read!  Through this very practical church ministry, a whole new world has opened up for them.  Today Theophile joyfully serves his church as a deacon.  And he was also asked to be the Head of the Literacy Association for their congregation.

Theophile reading the Bible
with Laetitia, the Literacy
Project Manager
(photo by R. Vanderveen)

Theophile and his wife Phoibe

This association now functions independently, being no longer funded through the Literacy Project.  The members work together to save money which can be used to help themselves or others in the church or community.  They grow potatoes and raise bees for honey which are sold in local markets.  The literacy teacher, Samuel, who received training through the project, continues to have a passion to teach others how to read.

 

The Literacy Association in the Kabatwa Baptist Church

Today Rwanda seeks to make schooling (grades 1-12) available to all children, which means that there are schools accessible throughout the country for any child who wants to go.  However, there is still the requirement that school fees must be paid for things like tuition, uniform, and lunches.  As a result, the poorest children are still at risk of missing school if the fees cannot be paid.  Because of the significant negative impact of illiteracy, CBM partners with the Rwandan Baptists (AEBR) in the Women’s Literacy Project.  

Literacy classes in lots of different settings

Literacy teachers are the key to success

Additionally, there are also several other projects which include school fees as part of their focus:  Guardians of Hope (for HIV/AIDS affected families); Orphans & Vulnerable Children; Pastors’ Children Scholarship Project.  And through these efforts it is so exciting to see a whole new world opening up for women, men and children!